


wherever you are

by lesmiserablol



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesmiserablol/pseuds/lesmiserablol
Summary: Zuko grabs his betrothal necklace and creeps to the door of their room, pausing before glancing back and smiling. When they first got married six years ago, he had promised himself to never leave Sokka without a goodbye kiss or an “I love you”, and that’s a promise that he has been faithful to so far.He smiles, his chest tight when he looks at Sokka, and blows a kiss in his direction as he whispers, “I love you, Sokka.”(or, an exploration of Zuko's grief)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 97
Kudos: 365





	wherever you are

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to blame the fact that this title comes from Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" on it being 1am when I am posting this.
> 
> Buckle up. This is another sad one.

Zuko wakes up, as always, to the sun’s soft light slowly filling his room. He blinks his eyes open and stretches silently, enjoying the peace of the early morning for a few more moments before sitting up in bed. 

He yawns and rubs a hand over his face, letting his eyes travel to Sokka’s side of the bed and smiling. He is sleeping on his stomach with his head turned away, (“It’s too hot to cuddle,” Sokka had whined last night, but Zuko vaguely remembers feeling Sokka close to his side at one point of the night anyway) but by the steadiness of his breath and the fact that He Is Sokka, Zuko knows that his husband of six years is still sleeping. 

Zuko gets up quietly, going to his wardrobe and opening it before throwing on something casual to train in. He picks up one of the hair ribbons that he has stolen from Sokka off of his bedside table and accidentally knocks over a scroll in the process. 

(“Are you seriously working? This late? In bed? Dude, that is so unsexy of you.”

Zuko laughed. “I thought you said that being the Fire Lord is sexy?”

“That’s different. Put that away, I can feel the stress radiating off of you. It can wait til tomorrow.”)

Zuko winces as the silence of the morning is broken when it clatters to the floor, glancing at his husband, but Sokka doesn’t move, instead snoring softly. Zuko lets out the breath he was holding. 

His hair hastily tied out of his face, he grabs his betrothal necklace and creeps to the door of their room, pausing before glancing back and smiling. When they first got married, he had promised himself to never leave Sokka without a goodbye kiss or an “I love you”, and that’s a promise that he has been faithful to so far. 

He smiles, his chest tight when he looks at Sokka, and blows a kiss in his direction as he whispers, “I love you, Sokka.”

He doesn’t have to wait long to see his husband awake. The palace is not yet bustling with life, and he enjoys the temporary peace to allow him to mentally prepare for the day ahead of him. His heart isn't into practicing with his swords this morning, they feel too awkward and heavy and he is distracted, so after a few minutes he puts them down and decides to just stretch on the floor of the training room - trying to remember some of the yoga poses Ty Lee has taught him - when Sokka finds him.

“Morning, hot stuff.”

Zuko smirks, opening his eyes and finishing his stretch, then moving to sit cross legged on the floor. “And here I was just enjoying the solitude when you decided to show up.”

“Hey, I can leave if you want me to,” Sokka offers with a cheeky smile, and Zuko’s smile drops as he quickly shakes his head. 

“No, please - no. Please don’t leave me,” Zuko says, his eyes pleading. “It was so hard without you last week.” 

Sokka nods, watching Zuko stand up to face him. “Of course not, I’ll never truly leave you,” Sokka winks. “You forgot something.”

Zuko tilts his head in confusion. “I did?”

“Oh, only the thing that shows the world that I get to call you my husband,” Sokka shrugs, glancing pointedly at Zuko's neck. 

Zuko’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit. Sorry, did I leave it under your pillow? Maybe that’s why I forgot it, I didn’t want to wake you. I can go grab it right n-”

“Are you sure it’s not in your pocket?” Sokka interrupts Zuko's rambling, and his hands fly to his pockets to check, sighing in relief. 

“You’re right. Of course you are. I must’ve forgotten to put it on,” Zuko sighs. “Give me a hand?”

Sokka steps forward. “You know, one day you’ll have to learn to live without me always at your beck and call.”

“I don’t plan on that ever happening,” Zuko says flatly. 

Sokka puts his hands over Zuko’s to guide his shaking hands, helping him put the necklace on himself. He smiles at Sokka once it is secured on his neck. “How do I look?”

He expects Sokka to deliver one of his favorite lines about Zuko being hot, or to do the opposite and jokingly flatten his ego, but he just smiles softly at Zuko. 

“Like mine.”

Zuko’s throat feels tight. 

They used to spar every morning, but now they wordlessly head back into the palace for breakfast. 

While Sokka was once the one of the two of them grabbing at whatever food he could and talking between bites, now he just sits and watches Zuko while providing a running commentary free of any obstruction in his mouth. 

“I ate before finding you just now,” he explains after Zuko shoots him another concerned look in the middle of one of Sokka's stories that he has definitely told before, and Zuko accepts the answer. 

“So, Katara is coming this morning, right?” Sokka asks. 

Zuko feels his stomach sink. “Yeah. She’ll be here with Aang and your dad soon. Suki and Toph will show up tonight.”

“That’s great. It’ll be good for you to have them here. And good for me, too, I know I miss them.”

“They definitely miss you,” Zuko says, staring at his plate. 

“Hey, you know they miss their favorite Fire Lord, too, right?” Sokka asks, gently nudging Zuko’s shin with his foot. 

Zuko rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know. But it’s different.”

Sokka looks like he’s about to argue, but he stops himself, instead shaking his head and smiling. “What do you have to do before they get here?”

“Nothing, I asked to free up my schedule for the next few days.” 

“I was hoping you would say that. Walk with me?”

“But our visitors could show up any minute,” Zuko reminds him. 

“They’ll know where to find us, they always do,” Sokka grins. 

Zuko nods and stands to silently follow Sokka through the palace hallways, passing a few servants on the way who give Zuko lingering looks and tight smiles. He gives them all a nod. 

Zuko isn’t surprised by Sokka’s choice of the turtleduck pond as their destination, and he smiles as he sits down next to him. The turtleducks immediately congregate around him and he laughs while Sokka pouts. 

“I swear, they don’t like me anymore,” he practically whines. “I was trying to be a cool stepdad, but it stopped working.”

“That’s because you haven’t fed them lately,” Zuko points out, petting the turtleducks apologetically. “They are easy to bribe. Sorry guys, Dad doesn’t have any snacks right now.”

The turtleducks linger for a few moments before giving up and going back to the pond, and Zuko gives Sokka a triumphant look. “Don’t worry, love. They’ll warm up to you again one day.”

“I’m not gonna count on it,” Sokka sighs, leaning against the tree before perking up. “Is that my sister?”

Zuko had heard the voices and distant footsteps too, and he keeps his eyes on Sokka’s wide eyes and bright smile for a second longer before tearing them away to see the newcomers. 

“Sifu Hotman!” Aang cheers, picking up his pace, and Zuko stands up to greet his best friend with a hug just as Aang jumps in his arms. He is slightly taller than Zuko now, but he still has the energy of the kid that Zuko first met eleven years ago. They hug each other for several moments, and Zuko smiles as they pull back and he turns to Katara, giving her a tight hug as well. When they pull away she grabs his hands and gives them a squeeze. 

“How are you doing?” she asks softly, and he gives her a small smile. 

“I’ve been okay, recently,” he tells her honestly. “I still have my days, but I can tell I’m getting better. I’ll obviously never be the same, but I’m finding a new normal.”

Katara nods, eyes sincere, and Zuko squeezes her hands back. Since his marriage to Sokka five years after the war, he and Katara have grown very close, and just having her around is enough to help calm him down. 

“Do you still see him?” she asks kindly, and Zuko can’t help but glance to the tree he had been sitting under with Sokka. Well, the tree he had been sitting under alone. Aang is standing where Zuko had seen Sokka’s legs just moments ago as he coos at the turtleducks. 

When he looks back at Katara she has a knowing look on her face, and he takes a shaky breath. 

“Sometimes. The palace just feels so empty without him,” he says quietly, his voice cracking on the last word and Katara doesn’t hesitate to wrap him in her arms again, holding him up when he feels like collapsing. 

“I understand. I’m sorry, Zuko,” she says gently into his ear, letting him wet her shoulder with his tears. He feels another pair of arms around him and lets out a shaky laugh as Aang joins their embrace. They hold him until he pulls back, which he is grateful for. He worried he wouldn’t be able to stand upright if they pulled away a second too soon. 

"I'm sorry to you, too," Zuko tells them, now with one hand holding Katara and the other holding Aang's. "This isn't easy for any of us. But thank you for coming here. It means a lot.”

“Of course. We didn’t want you to be alone for this. We didn’t want any of us to be alone,” Aang adds softly, his free hand wiping tears from his cheeks. 

Zuko swallows thickly. “I can’t believe it’s been exactly a year since he died. It feels like it was yesterday and a hundred years ago at the same time.” 

Katara nods, and she has tears flowing freely down her face. “I feel the same way. I miss him.”

“So do I,” Zuko sighs, glancing at the tree again. “For what it’s worth, I think he misses you, too.” 

Katara tugs lightly on his hand. “Come on, Dad’s in the kitchens. We brought some stewed sea prunes with us.”

Zuko smiles, knowing that the next time he will see Sokka, Sokka will whine about how much he misses the delicacy and how it’s unfair that Zuko gets to eat them and he can’t. 

For now, he feels the warmth of hands in his, grateful to be with people he loves, and Sokka loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Well. I didn't spend a lot of time on this one and I wanted to keep it short just to get this idea out of my mind, but I hope it is still good and you enjoyed it (despite the angst)! 
> 
> Check out my other fics while you are here! I also have a [tumblr](https://bisexuallsokka.tumblr.com/) :)


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